Happy birthday, Park Yoochun

2008. That was when I properly found out about you for the first time. Before then, I had not even the slighest interest in you but I began taking interest in you that year. I used to exist in a world that could be lived in without you, but ever since that day, I feel like my life would be so empty without you.

I sometimes marvel at how the sky, that I used to just pass by in the past, looks so pure and blue ever since I first met you. Just looking at the color of the sky reminds me of you, bright and pure, so I find myself enjoying the time I take to look up at the sky. I find myself smiling like a fool whenever I see anything with Mickey Mouse on it, and the number of such objects in my room increases though I never really liked Mickey Mouse in the past. What do I do when you affect my daily life in even the smallest of habits?

Now that I think about it, you have been changing my daily life and my future since that day. Before you came into my life, I knew I’d be living a future without you but now, I feel so awkward when you aren’t around, proving that you mean so much to me. Though it’s okay if you don’t know this, I hope, I just hope you can feel your importance. Though I may not be a person who can give you warm reassurances, I hope, I just hope that these feelings that I have for you can be the strength and drive that keeps you going when things get tought.

Even if no one recognizes this love I have, I wish that my words will give you the strength to get back on your feet when you want to give up everything, lonely and worn out from reality.

Your songs. You probably don’t know how much they make my heart pound. It feels like your emotions have melted into and molded the songs you write, so I find myself subconciously responding to those emotions. Whenever I hear that your compositions have been included in an album, I listen to it first, even before the title song. I always feel like I need to close my eyes when I hear the songs you’ve created, that are filled with your presence. When I listen to Kiss Shita Mama, I listen to the harmonies created between the voices and I cry along with the emotions embedded within the chords. When I listen to Love By Love, I listen while taking to heart each and every word of those lyrics.

I really love the lyrics that you write. I really like the lyrics that you write. Though they don’t make an essay, the stories that are hidden within make me laugh and cry. As I know that the love melted in your stories is from your past experiences, I find myself thanking your past loves. If you had not been hurt as you loved, you would not have been able to write such beautiful lyrics, so I thank the time and the pain that helped you along the way.

Your songs make me dizzy. Because I get confused as to whether I’m listening to a song, or you. When I hear your voice singing about love, my heart goes crazy as if I’m a little girl who’s receiving a love confession. When I hear your voice singing about parting ways, it hurts so much to listen to that song that I feel like crying. When I heard the Song Without A Name, I think I cried.. a lot. I prayed that you would never have to go through such hardships again.

When I first heard that you were going into acting, truth be told, I worried a lot. I worried that you would be beaten down by critics like many other singers before you. That you may be hurt by such harsh words. You were having a hard enough time without the added pressure. Though I knew it would be a great opportunity for you, I was so scared for you that I began to hope for you to just stay within your music. Back then.

Though I didn’t watch your drama till the end, I realized that I had been trying to deny you of so many opporunities in my concern and worry for you. So I was thankful. Because you overcame all hardships and got back on your feet, scarred though you were. Watching you work so hard to attain new things, I began to think, ‘I was so stupid. I really didn’t know Park Yoochun that well.’ Though I call myself a fan, I realized that I didn’t know much about you.

On the day when the new year came. I still remember watching you receive your award. Though I’m not your sibling or your parents, I felt so proud to see you up there. Thinking of all the things to sacrificed -such as sleep- and worked hard for to get that title of ‘Actor’ in front of your name, I believed that you truly deserved that award in your hands. So when you received it, I was happy. I was more happy to see you receive the ‘Best Newcomer Award’ than the Popularity Award or the Best Couple Award, awards that could be won through the people who loved him. Holding that trophy, holding those bouquets, standing in that spot as if it was yours to begin with. In front of all those people, you were recognized for your hard work. I really loved that moment.

So what I want to say to you is,

I want to see someone who will stay by your side,
till eternity, getting closer to you every day.

Thank you.
For making me someone who begins and ends every day with joy.
For being born, and for giving me the opportunity to meet you.

I wish you a happy birthday from the bottom of my heart, my precious Yoochun.
I really, truly am loving you.

Hoping to be with you for eternity with your music, your songs and your everything.
2011.06.04

For the first time, I congratulate your birthday with written words, poor as they may be.

by. 에르체베트

Source: [Naver Blog]

Translated & Shared by: melodiamuse